Hosting ≠ Hospitality

I grew up in a big family that was always hosting and inviting people over. It was common for the whole neighborhood to be over on a summer night, grilling, and playing pickle ball. My parents are some of the most generous, hospitable people I know. When I first started dating my husband, the first time I met his friends he had invited everyone over for a homemade chicken tikka masala dinner. Hosting friends and making dinner for everyone became a normal part of our lives in college. Now we continue to host friends, as well as strangers in our home. I am thankful that I married someone with an enormous amount of hospitality and generosity. It’s natural to him, but not so natural to me all of the time.

Hosting is something that you do and hospitality is a mindset.

The best hosts are ones that are hospitable. If you are not a naturally hospitable person, hosting is going to be difficult for you. We occasionally deal with some crap from guests and have difficult times as hosts. The thing that keeps us going and gives us good reviews is that we genuinely want our guests to have a good experience. Yes, we are renting out home out for the money and to put ourselves in a better place financially, but we also just really enjoy giving people a great experience. We like caring for others.

We have received all 5-stars for the last three years on Airbnb. *knock on wood* It’s safe to say that becoming a more hospitable person and having a caring attitude will naturally make you a better host. For some people, like my husband, it is natural. For other people, like me, it is something that needs to be practiced until it is a habit.

How to Become More Hospitable:

1. Travel to other places and stay in other homes and listings. This will help you put yourself in others’ shoes and realize what you needed and wanted as a guest. We have stayed in countless Airbnbs and I feel like we take some inspiration from every host we meet and every room we stay in!
2. Actively try to assume the best about the other person.
3. Remember that people are more important than things. Your guests are going to break things and ruin things… it’s going to happen. You have to roll with it. If the damage is extensive or expensive, then they can be requested to pay or Airbnb can take care of the cost, but in general, don’t sweat the small stuff.
   • There was one time a guest ruined our duvet cover. They let us know about it before checking out and then offered to pay to replace it. It was not a big deal and the whole thing went smoothly. If they had not offered to replace it then we would have just taken pictures and submitted a claim to Airbnb, then the damage deposit our guests paid would have covered it.
4. Think about things that make you smile– fresh flowers, baked goods, a glass of wine, etc. It’s fun to share things or give small things to your guests. Giving and sharing increases their dopamine (feel-good) levels in their brain but also your own dopamine levels–literally the same neurotransmitter that makes you high from opiates. It feels good to give; you’ll get mentally rewarded for hospitality, which will make your brain want to do it again.
5. Don’t let the fear of inadequacy stop you from reaching out and extending hospitality. A little sentiment goes a long way. Hospitality has nothing to do with perfection; it’s an attitude of caring and giving.

How do you practice hospitality?

*the links in the boxes above are affiliate links to amazon. Check them out, and if you end up buying something then I get a small percentage of the sale.